Surprises around every corner.

Today I received a surprise package in the mail! It made me feel beyond special and very fortunate to have such amazing people in my life.  I received a pair of jeans with the tag cut out of them (so I wouldn't know the size) and two new shirts. There was a card included that read "Here is a start to the new you. A do-over of your date night. Enjoy and relax. All sizes are (B) for beautiful. Just dress up and have fun".  It also had a $50 gift card to Olive Garden!  Jason and I plan on re-doing our date tomorrow. I am so thankful to have such amazing people in my life.  I've really had a hard hard summer. I have felt so shitty about myself and it has caused terrible depression.  It feels so wonderful to know I have so many people in my corner.  It feels wonderful to know that the words I type are read and understood by someone.  It's wonderful to feel loved by friends and family.

On another note I made homemade beef and noodles today!! I ate this bowl (Anistyn's bowl to help with portion control) and it was damn delicious. Those who have eaten my chicken and dumplings this is a very close second to them!  I ate this bowl very slowly along with 20 oz of water. I got up and went and got another bowl full (totally not helping with the whole portion control thing) and sat down on the couch and stared at it. I had a showdown with a bowl full of beef and noodles!! Who does that?????  I sat and thought about how hard I worked this week to try and lose more weight.  I could have easily felt defeated since I am stuck at the same weight as last week and devoured the second bowl full but I didn't.  I got my happy ass up and said out loud "I don't need to eat this" and poured them back into the pot. Do you know how hard it is for a fat girl food addict to put food back????? It's really hard.  I knew I wouldn't feel good after eating that second bowl full. I knew I would feel even more disgusted with who I am if I had.  I imagined that bowl of noodles attached to my ass.  Maybe on Tuesday when I weigh myself at work it will have made a difference. If it didn't make a difference in my weight it sure made a difference in the way I am thinking about food and my health. That is one big step in the right direction.