Post op appointment.

I had my post op appointment with Dr Westmoreland today.  He was very happy to see that I have lost 15 pounds since my pre op appointment. I have lost a total of 25 pounds since September.  It was decided that I wait to go back to work until Monday. That gives my body more time to heal and more time for me to start eating and drinking more to get my strength back.  I feel really good.
I still can't believe I had gastric bypass. Sometimes I think maybe I did take the easy way out.  Then I look back at my life and this journey and realize that this is far from easy.  Every decision I make now is a very conscious one.  I am very aware of every single thing I consume.  I have to make sure I am not gulping my fluids because it will cause gas and vomiting.  I have to make sure I only eat a few tablespoons of something and chew the heck out of it before I swallow.  I don't get to go out and grab a cheeseburger from Burger King if I want too.  Every decision has a consequence whether it be good or bad.  I have had to be very mentally prepared for this change.  I still desire the thought, the idea of food.  I still smell something (like popcorn) and think I would love to swim in a pool of that! The thought of actually eating it turns my stomach.  Everyday is a new day with new obstacles.  Some days I wake up and I can drink water no problem and then other days water gives me stomach cramps. I just never know. It's a toss up.  I still have a lot of mental work to do because I have nagging thoughts that I know will ruin me.  I think about how great I am doing now but if I start to get an appetite I am going to gain weight.  In the intelligent part of my brain I know eating is important. I know I need protein. In the "fat girl" part of my brain I am still pretty pessimistic unfortunately.  I know continued therepy will help with that.  I am relieved that I am at least present in my thinking process.  It could be worse.
I am most amazed at the confidence boosting the bypass and weight loss has provided.  I haven't had a lick of confidence for so long that it's nice to see the blooming of confidence each day.  I went last night and got a new hair do and color to go with the new me!  I'm getting there and very excited for my future.