Weight loss.

I am down 8 pounds since I seen Dr. Westmoreland on the 10th.  I have to lose another 7 pounds to reach the 15 pound goal he gave me to be able to have the surgery.  8 pounds seems good but I just feel fatter.  I don't see any change other than the number on the scale.

 I feel like I'm in a constant battle with every facet of my life lately. It's been such a hard couple of months.  I have learned to not run to food when I'm stressed or anxious but I've become really angry instead. I have to find some middle ground.  I can't eat the anxiety away but I can't go through my days irritated at everything and everyone. It hasn't helped that my pain is on high alert and has been for 2 weeks now. Every time I change my eating habits or physical activity my body goes all wack-a-doo.  I havent been sleeping well because of pain. It hurts my hips to lie on my sides. I toss and turn trying to find some level of comfort.  My hands are stiff and achy.  My back hurts all the time. It's just whining on and on and on.  I just yearn to feel good. I cannot wait to feel free.  I am excited to be able to wake up in the morning and not want to lay down and throw the covers back over my head.  When you're fat and in pain due to chronic health conditions you feel trapped.  I constantly feel like I'm suffocating.  I just want to break free of the chains of obesity and pain.  It may seem a bit dramafied but this is my blog where I can sound off about anything I want.  You all choose to read it!

I have been so incredibly thankful for all of the support through my journey.  It really helps knowing I can be the voice for some of you who can't open up about how you feel about yourself.  

*****All of my paperwork was submitted to Tricare yesterday! I should be getting a phone call or email letting me know if I am approved very soon!