Living it.

So I have some big news! I have been working through the process of getting gastric bypass approval for the past month. I met with the surgeon, Dr. Westmoreland, this morning. I've had to meet with the nutritionist, PCP and psych over the past few weeks. I went back and forth on typing this up and telling the world. I really don't want any negative feedback and I know there will be those nay sayers in the bunch. I know I will run into those who think I am taking the easy way out but I feel like this is my ONLY way out.
I am now 238 pounds. I have to admit I have went bat shit crazy with my eating for the past month. I knew that today would be coming and my eating habits would be changing forever. I am extremely excited about this life change but also a hell of a lot scared.
I feel like thus far my appointment with psych has been the most beneficial. I know that the surgery is just a tool and that I will have to make many behavior modifications. I plan to continue to see psych indefinitely. I have a lot of shit I have to work through in my head. I know that a huge part of my mentality comes from my childhood. It takes a toll on a person's self esteem, self confidence, and self image to have someone who is supposed to love you call you fat. Psych said to erase the word diet and exercise from my vocabulary. He said that there are to many negative connotations that go along with those two words. He simply said to "Live It". Use this surgery as a tool to become a healthier me both physically and mentally.  My surgery is tentatively scheduled for the week of October 5-9. I have to go see Dr. Westmoreland in 6 weeks and have lost 15 pounds.  So I plan to start back typing in this blog every step of the way.

I had my first ever protein shake today. This will be a staple in my new life.