I haven't been on here in awhile. I've been angry at my Lupus for betraying me and wreaking havoc for the past several months. I haven't felt lovely. I haven't been losing lard. I have however had lupus. One out of three isnt bad right? Usually I give lupus the big middle finger and move on but for some reason it hasn't worked this time. Of course I've never been on prednisone because of lupus. Prednisone is that girl you always hated in highschool. You know the girl right?! The one with the perfect hair and the cute little body and perfect 10 boyfriend. Yep prednisone is a bitch. This medication has become my #1 nemisis. Not only have I gained 25-30 pounds due to wanting to eat everything that moves. I have also turned into a emotionally irrational crazy person. To the men who read this (the few and far between) stop chuckling! I am still on prednisone and I will hear you and find you! I am going to see my new rheumatologist on Wednesday and I am hopeful. I am going to have the "get me off these steroids now" conversation. I've never been so unhappy with myself in my life. I've never ever been this heavy nor ever thought I would be this heavy. Steroids had a lot to do with it but the past few weeks were me just giving up.
So what does this have to do with the handful of medication? When you have a chronic condition you typically take one medication for the disease itself and then another for a symtptom of a symptom of a symptom. The handful of medication is just the morning handful. It excludes the vitamins I take. It excludes the handful of nightly medications. I just want to be healthy. I want to love myself enough to care. I don't want a handful of medications to signify who I am. I don't want 25-30 extra pounds to signify who I am. I am still figuring out who I am!
Stay tuned for "Muffin top! What is this?!"
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