Monday?!

I have never started a "diet" on any other day but a Monday.  I decided that if I was going to do this and do it right I was going to start on a different day of the week.  I spent New Years Day with my girls enjoying myself and the time with them.  We went to Olive Garden and had a not so great lunch. It is definitely not what I would have wanted for my "last" meal.  So I made up for it and ate Chinese for dinner!  It was delicious!  Hee Hee.
I went to work Friday with my new mentality in place. Every single co-worker was not starting their "diet" until Monday.  So today I was on Day 4 of no caffeine and they all had caffeine headaches and withdrawals!  LOL. They all thought I was nuts to not be starting on a Monday.  
I've been doing pretty good so far.  On Day 2, I was the biggest bitch anyone had ever seen or dealt with.  I felt VERY sorry for my family!  As of today though I am okay.  I have had some cravings for chocolate mostly.
Trying to begin to like who I am on the outside but it isn't happening.  When you look in the mirror and only see fat its hard to like yourself.  I wish what I looked like on the outside didn't matter to me but I'd be lying if I said it didn't.  I would be bold face lying.  I have who I want to be in my subconscious.  I don't remember a time in my life that I liked who I saw looking back at me.  I don't want Lupus to be my crutch.  I don't want the fact that I am on prednisone to be an excuse to eat to much and gain more weight.  I have a really long way to go!
Until next time readers!