Baby steps.

I've done better this week but not great by any means. My head is still not fully back in the game. Not even close really.  I'm making itty bitty baby steps in the right direction.  I see the disappointment in Jason's face and it makes it really hard to look at him. He was so proud of how well I was doing and how far I had come. I'm really hoping that July brings less stress and more time to focus.  For now the baby steps are going to have to suffice.  I'm trying to balance time for myself and time for my family in my future plans. Right now my main focus has been on my family.  I realize without me getting healthy I am detrimental to the success of my family.  I am weighed down with guilt a lot right now.  I am working and away from home a lot and Ani is seeking negative attention from me.  She wants nothing more than for me to be home 24/7 and all of my attention be placed on her precious little self.  There is no way I could have mothered more than two children.  I feel consumed by guilt all the time.  One of the perks of being a mother I guess?  This weight loss journey is seriously a part time job.  I will get it figured out. I have too.