The good. The bad. The ugly.

This week has had its highs and its lows.  I was able to graduate from my fat girl scrubs to my smaller fat girl scrubs.  It was awesome being able to pull those pants up over my thighs and butt with ease! They are even loose. How incredible is that!!!???

So that was a pretty amazing high.  Onward to the low.  My work Christmas party is this Saturday and I have been on the "find a decent dress to wear" adventure.  I absolutely HATE shopping.  I like the idea of shopping but actually taking clothes to the dressing room and trying them on is something all together different.  I realized a few things while trying on a million different dresses in the past week.
1. My boobs are still HUGE.  I got stuck in some of the dresses trying to pull them over my still double D's.
2. Although I am losing my butt and my pants are saggy I still have a whole lot of ass left.  A whole lot.
3. It's harder to find a cute dress in a size 12/14 because so many women are this size.
4. I have the ugliest knees on the planet and there is a reason I have not worn shorts in public since highschool.
5. Trying to find said dress caused my little bit of self confidence to go down the toilet.
6. I need some heavy duty spanxs to hold up and suck in this roo pouch I still have.
7. I still have a very long way to go on this journey.
8. I will probably stick with wearing black pants to this party.
So after trying on a ton of dresses I walked out of the store with nothing.  Trying to find something presentable caused a hell of a lot of anxiety.  I am down 48.6 pounds and am now in a 12/14.  That is exciting for me.  I wore a size 12 when I got married 15 years ago.  I've been stuck at 190 all week and I am impatiently waiting to see the 180's.  Every day I have a new emotion.  Through the day I feel happy, mad, excited, miserable, and everything in between!