Beautiful Imperfections.

Today I realized that I have beautiful imperfections.  I had a budoir shoot done today with Allen Manus. This shoot was booked in January with the hope that I would have lost enough weight to feel comfortable in my own skin.  I ordered lingerie months in advance guesstimating what size I would wear 6 months later.  When I first got the outfits and tried them on I remember thinking "how in the hell is my fat ass going to be shoved into these and what in the hell was I thinking???!". As I lost the weight I started fitting in things with more ease and I started to feel a little better about myself everytime.  Some people think a budoir shoot is silly to get done. If you lack in self confidence and esteem it is a bucket list to do.  I spent 2 hours today getting my hair and makeup done and then 2 hours getting pictures done.  It was a day to do something for myself.  I never once felt awkward or out of place. With every outfit change I felt a bigger boost of confidence.  By the last outfit I felt like a bad ass bitch who could conquer the world! I felt sexy, confident and okay with the imperfections I possess.  I'm 97 pounds lighter and I feel like a brand new person.

Single digits!!! What?????

Today I fit into a size 9 pair of jeans!!! A size 9! I may not be losing weight very quickly anymore but the inches are still falling off and I love it!

I was a size 9 when I went on my first date with Jason! I quickly moved out of that size once we got together so this feels like uncharted territory. I feel so wonderful about the progress I've made!! I went to my 9 month check with Dr Westmoreland and he said that I am doing great! My thyroid labs are all normal and I have officially been off my Synthroid for 2 months! My thyroid is back to normal with my weight loss! How fantastic is that!!?? I'm now only taking medication for my stomach (Omeprazole) and a anti depressant (prozac) so I dont kill people ;)  My Lupus and Fibromyalgia are doing pretty awesome too!  I have been able to spend time in the sun with Anistyn and not get deathly sick which is a nice change.  I still have some bad days but nothing like I used too.  He said that at this point people should lose approximately 80 pounds and I am down 94 since August (when I started my journey) and 87 since October (my surgery).  I was actually told by a co-worker that I am wasting away and they are worried about me. I still have more weight loss in this journey. I am still considered overweight.  My journey isn't done just yet.

I came out in this outfit and Anistyn said "Mommy you look beautiful". That was the best compliment  I have ever gotten. I am so thankful that she sees the confidence I have in myself and thinks I am beautiful.  My main reason for this surgery was to gain self worth and self esteem. I am getting there every day.

Comfortable in my skin.

I realized I haven't posted in awhile!! To say I've been busy and dealing with a lot is a understatement!
I weighed in this morning at 145.6 and I am down 93 pounds!!! I cannot believe I am so close to 100 pounds! I've almost lost an entire person. It boggles my mind.

Last weekend we took a trip to Florida  to visit with my grandma, family, and friends. It was a nice break from life here.  My biggest NSV (non scale victory ) while away was walking around the beach in a two piece and feeling comfortable in my own skin. Never before would you find me first of all in a two piece and NEVER walking around without a towel or a cover-up on.  I still have a long way to go in the confidence department but it feels amazing to have some self esteem.

I found some pieces of myself over the weekend that were missing.  I spent a lot of time talking to my grandma whom I love and I know loves me.  I spent time with my Aunt and cousins and it was light and happy. There was no stress being around them.  I could be myself and enjoy the company.  I didn't feel like I was being scrutinized and judged.  I felt like I belonged and it was a good feeling.

I had another NSV yesterday! I actually walked into Victoria Secret and was fitted for a bra and I bought new panties! I bought size medium panties at Victoria Secret!  What???!  I found out that I am a 32 DDD. I'm really wondering what letter of the alphabet I was before I had surgery! Holy hell still a triple D???!  It was awesome to walk into what I consider a  "skinny" girl store and find stuff that fit.

The journey is still continuing and it's amazing.