Gluttony at its finest.

Yes you are reading a blog about weight loss and a weight loss journey but for me it has not started just yet.  It is New Years Eve, the day before my journey starts, and I intend to live it up!  One last hoorah you might say!!!  Is anyone else going to be absolutely gluttonous? Please say there are other folks out in this world who are going to stuff their faces and be little piggy's.  I don't plan to deprive myself of good food once I start this new lifestyle tomorrow but I will be setting limits, watching portion control, and exercising my big lard ass off! 
As the day is quickly coming to start this journey I am getting more and more excited.  I am imaging how much healthier and uh sexier I will be by the summer.  Its exciting to think of how physically, emotionally, and mentally changed I will become.  I know its not going to be easy and I will cuss a lot and be cranky as hell for awhile but it will be well worth it.  One goal I have is to look stunning by my 14 year anniversary in June.  I would love nothing more than to be in a white sundress standing hand in hand with my sexy hubby on the beach renewing our vows.
So until that clock strikes midnight tonight I will be eating whatever I want and as much as I want!  Statements like that drive my husband beyond crazy.  He is always asking me "Why start on Monday when you can start today?"  For some reason my brain doesn't work that way.  It's already driving me crazy that my start day wont be a Monday.  Is that OCD issue?  LOL!  I am hoping, or I know, that by this time next year my perceptions will be different.
Anyway thanks for reading my post today and enjoy your food loving hearts out!  Tomorrow will be the start of a new year and a new life!



Happy New Years Eve!  Until next year blog readers!

Reading material.

I am a lover of magazines especially ones with weight loss stories, healthy recipes, running help and exercise ideas.  I tend to collect them however and never read them. Anyone with me?! Lol. I don't understand the compulsion to binge on every 5 dollar magazine I see. I'm telling you the checkout is where stores make all their money! Between candy, snacks and reading material they are set financially. I am planning on going through every magazine I have and make menus, fitness routines, and lists of healthy habits. Do any of you have a favorite magazine or book that teaches you how to lead a healthy lifestyle? 
I know not the most exciting  post ever but it gives you something to think about!

Life changes are scary.

Making a complete life change is a scary thing.  I am however so excited to change my life.  So excited to focus on myself and make a healthier woman, wife, and mommy. 
I am tired of being fat and unhealthy.  Its hard to feel happy when I feel so disgusted in my own skin.  I have thought of "trying" to induce vomiting on more than one occasion but just cant bring myself to do it.  I've thought about how nice it would be to just pull my belly fat up and cut it off.  Yes that is morbid but only if it were that easy.   I often feel sorry for my husband because he has to look at me and pretend to think I am sexy.  Poor, poor guy.  He takes such amazing care of himself and only wants me to be healthy and follow in his footsteps.  I love him for loving me for my most fabulous personality ;)
I have to admit that I am a bit of a scale addict.  I ended up taking the battery out of our scale here at home and have not stepped foot on it for about a month.  I am terrified to even know what my starting weight will be.  The scale is the devil I swear.  When our scale is in working order I will step on it at the least 3 times a day but most often upwards of 10 times a day.  Every time I get on there I get more discouraged and pissed off.  My husband has hid the scale on more than one occasion.  I am hoping that when I step my bare feet on that bitch of a machine at MMC weight management on January 3, 2014 I will be able to stay positive.  I intend to post all of my stats as embarrassing and as shameful as it will be on that day.  I have big goals and am hoping I will reach them.  If I'm being positive I am supposed to say I WILL reach them!!  What is my goal?  I intend to lose upwards of 50 pounds.  I intend to become stronger and healthier.  I intend to work on my running (which I LOVE) and reach personal bests. 
I hope all of you can find some comfort and enjoy reading this blog.  I'm a real woman with real difficulty losing weight and having will power.  Here's to a awesome 2014! 
What are your weight loss goals?  What are your resolutions?